the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
