Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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