I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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