just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
