What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
