my mouth tastes like poor choices
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
