Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
