apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
