heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We don't watch enough power rangers
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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