I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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