my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
