Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
