On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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