i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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