addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
