You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
