fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
