To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
