Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
