friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
