and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
