I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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