so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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