I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
