Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
