Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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