remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
