i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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