Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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