I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
