yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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