Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
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I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
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He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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