she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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