All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
love makes seman taste better
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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