let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
