Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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