happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
