No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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