So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well I just put wine in my tea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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