the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
