I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
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Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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