Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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