Where did you get a picture of my penis
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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