i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
