Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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