Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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