were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
