We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
