Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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