That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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