My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
