So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
