Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
