Please, let me fuck your mom
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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