I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I am one with the molecules
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize